December 24, 2012

Happy holidays, from my house to yours!

By this time last year I'd done a Hanukkah post, a Christmas post, and many other posts in between. 

Lately, though, it seems like for each year older Zoe is, my life gets exponentially busier. 

Because, holy COW life's been busy these past couple months!

I've learned lots of lessons recently, though, and in celebration of the holidays, I figured I could share the with you.

Lesson #1: Jews should NOT attempt to see Santa on the first night of Hanukkah

Ok, ok, I use the term "Jew" loosely here. I am Jewish by heritage, and I embrace the culture if not all the religious aspects. I celebrate the fun Jewish holidays (Hanukkah, Passover) and quietly respect-from-afar the less-fun ones (translation: there is no fasting for me on Yom Kippur). 

The first night of Hanukkah fell on a Saturday this year. It seemed like a good idea to go to our local light/holiday show that night. I'd run a half-marathon that morning, and could happily still walk. And since Santa stops by to see children at the light show, and  Zoe was SUPER-PUMPED to see him this year, it felt like the right time. And then, I figured, we could light our candles and say our prayers after we got home that evening.

Happy belated Hanukkah!
We left the house early, before dark. We knew it would be crowded, but thought we could beat the worst of it. 

Not so much.

A mile out from the park, traffic stopped dead. DEAD. We didn't move an inch in 15 minutes.

I took it as a sign. We did a U-turn, went to dinner, and headed home to celebrate Hanukkah properly....without Santa.

Lesson #2: If you have a cat who likes to destroy Christmas tree skirts, HAVE A BACKUP HANDY!

This past Thursday was my Christmas prep day. I had dozens of presents to wrap, lots of cleaning to do, and stocking stuffers to buy. No biggie, though - I had the day off, and Zoe went to school.

Evil Cat looks Evil
So...I spent two hours wrapping gifts that morning while watching Singin' in the Rain because...why not?

We always keep stuff under the tree, even before we have presents ready, because one of our cats (Doozer - the Evil One) likes to destroy Christmas tree skirts. 

Seriously. We usually average a new one each year. It doesn't sound terrible, I guess, but I was very happy last year when we bought a new on at the start of the season, and it made it through the year, and was ready and waiting for us when we opened our Christmas boxes this year.

So. 

I finished wrapping presents, then pulled all the stuff out from under the tree to make room for the gifts. I saw some cat-hairballs beneath the stuff, so I left the room for THIRTY SECONDS to get the sticky-roller-thing. 

By the time I got back, that tree skirt was toast. Smelling of ammonia, if you know what I mean.

AWFUL. 

It went in the trash.
I think it came out OK

Well, I had to run out for stocking stuffers anyway, right? I'd just grab a new tree skirt and still be home in time to get all the other things done. So no biggie.

Wrong. It was a biggie.

Because do you know that by the Thursday before Christmas, there are NO CHRISTMAS TREE SKIRTS LEFT ANYWHERE IN THE CHARLESTON SUBURBS??????

Seriously.

World Market? Nope.

Bed Bath & Beyond? Nope.

Wal-Mart? Definitely not, although they did have really strange felt bags that are used for large presents that I considered buying as a back-up. I didn't.

Lowe's? Nothing. Sold out.

So then I wound up at Target. Which wouldn't have been a big deal, but for the fact that I'd just driven probably thirty miles, back and forth and back again, to points less than five miles from my house. My thirty minute planned shopping trip was now approaching two hours!

So. Target. Oy.

They had one. One. The last available Christmas tree skirt in the whole of the Charleston suburbs.

It was furry. And bright-ass kelly-green. And the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

I bought it.

And you know? With presents on it, it's really not terrible.

But between you and me, and the rest of the Internet world, I sort of hope the cat destroys this one too...

Lesson #3: Don't let your husband near the scissors

Last one, I promise.

Charles has been growing his hair a bit, letting it get a bit shaggier than he'd normally allow. We were hoping to sell enough books in December for him to have to shave his head, and he wanted the effect of the before and after pictures to be impressive.

But alas, we won't hit our goal. His hair is safe, and we'll still donate to St. Judes because we love them. 

That said, his hair was looking pretty rough, and we had plans to hang out with his sister and her family for the evening this past Friday. We see them only a couple times a year, so he didn't want to be too shaggy.

Well, Zoe and I were out doing some last-minute shopping, and when we got home, Charles was wearing a hat. He looked...a little different.

"Look!" he said. "I trimmed the sides of my hair."

Sure enough...he had. But just the sides. He'd left the top and back shaggy.

When he took off his hat...the boy had a mullett.

Sigh.

One emergency haircut (given by me - YIKES!!) later, we were thirty minutes late meeting his sister, and my blood pressure was through the roof. 

But now he's handsome and non-shaggy, so maybe this is a non-lesson....but still. Holy stressballs, Batman!

****

So now it's your turn. If you've read this far tell me: what have you learned this holiday season???

And really: happy holidays, y'all! We're ready for our annual neighbor Christmas Eve event, sausage balls are cooking, and cookies are made. I hope you are having a lovely day yourself.

2 comments:

Jen said...

I have learned that my hometown is like an extended family. I thought I would be all by myself this year, but then I wound up with invitations for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. This makes me feel all bright and shmoopy...

Adriana Ryan said...

Haha, these were some great lessons. And yummmm, sausage balls! I've learned that you shouldn't buy kids cool soaps as stocking stuffers, because they will think they're lame. Seriously, these were LEGO- and HELLO KITTY-SHAPED. How awesome is that??? But nope, not a hit. >.< Merry Xmas!!

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