October 29, 2012

Tonight We Drink

This is a weird week.

As I type, many of my loved ones (friends, family, you name it) are getting pounded by Hurricane Sandy as she spreads her wrath across the coast of New Jersey and the boroughs of New York City.

That is my first home. I've seen pictures of stores in my hometown already knee-deep in water, before the storm has even washed ashore. Some of my closest girlfriends are in their houses and apartments, hunkered down in basements and behind taped windows.

My beloved Manhattan is likely to see the worst flooding in recent history.

I can't believe it.

We're supposed to head up Friday morning to spend the weekend up there.  All of us: Charles, Zoe and me.  We are supposed to stay with my best friend (better described as my sister, since I don't remember life without her). This weekend is supposed to include Zoe's first trip to New York.  Her first time on a train. Her first visit to the Museum of Natural History and FAO Schwartz.

Doesn't look likely right now, does it?

Right now, I only hope my friends and loved ones come through this storm unharmed. I'm so worried and sad I could scream.

****

As I type, Zoe is learning to read.

She's sounding out words. Matching the words to pictures. Reading little books that Charles bought her yesterday at Barnes & Noble.

Right now, I'm so proud of her I can't stand it.

****

As I type, my publisher is putting the final touches on my first book.

On Wednesday it will be unleashed upon the world.

And I'm so full of questions and doubt.

Will people like it?


What if they hate it?



What if that makes them hate me?



Will anyone other than my friends and family even buy it?



I'm pretty sure this is normal, but right now, I'm so full of stress, I might explode.


****

I spent my weekend (in between carving pumpkins and hanging out with my brother and getting a new tattoo) doing some final editing/formatting myself. It was a race to the finish, and I had to push myself to keep going.

I was exhausted, stressed, overwhelmed.

I'm still exhausted, stressed, and overwhelmed.

****

So tonight, let's drink. I'll have two glasses of wine, even though it's a school night. I'll enjoy them, and once I'm done with this post I will close my computer and watch a Food Network Halloween Challenge with Charles and Zoe and try to forget it all, if only for a little while.

So cheers, my friends. For those of you in Sandy's line of fire, who probably won't even see this post: I'm thinking of you. For everyone else: I hope you have a drink with me tonight, too.

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