I don't think I officially wrote a Thanksgiving, "I am thankful for" post, and in retrospect, I really should have!
I've had "heavy boots" for the past few days (thanks, Jonathan Safran Foer for that oddly descriptive term!), which just means I've been feeling pretty down. Pretty low. Which isn't the best way to feel during Hanukkah and Christmas.
But tonight, after a slightly crazy Hanukkah party at my parents' house, I'm feeling better. I'm feeling...good. And so it's time to tell you all the things for which I am truly thankful, this holiday season. I can't believe it's taken me so long to do this.
- I'm thankful for my family. First and foremost and always, my family. My husband Charles. My daughter Zoe. They are wacky and zany and sometimes I don't know how my house will contain their shared energy, but they keep me SO aware of life at all times. My parents, my brothers. I couldn't have ever asked for a more wonderful group of people to raise me. My in-laws, on both sides; I've found acceptance with a wider group of people I ever imagined possible. I am truly blessed, and I don't use that term lightly. Ever.
- I'm thankful that in my 30s (and oh dear Lord, I'm in my 30s) I've found the ability to mostly be myself. I dress how I like (boots! I love boots!); I wear my hair how I like (even on crazy days like today when it's curly and wild and I can't contain it); I do the things I like and I read and write the things I like. When I look back at teenage- or twenties-me, I never even knew that was possible. I spent so much time trying to be what I thought other people wanted to be; now, mostly, I'm just me. And I sort of, mostly really like me.
- I'm thankful for my friends, old and new, young and old. I'm thankful for the fact that if I were to post on Facebook or Twitter today that I needed a couch on which to crash anywhere in the tri-state area, I'd have volunteers. And couches. And even beds. I have friends I've known since I was two; I have friends that are new this year. It's amazing, how a circle of a person's life continues to grow throughout the years. I hope it never shrinks.
- I'm thankful for chocolate. For red wine. For coffee. These are my vices, and I support their sweet, loving, cozy effect on my life. I accept that I love them, and they love me.
- And oh dear God I'm thankful for running and yoga and my punching bag, without which my love of my vices would have me weighing close to a thousand pounds. I'm thankful my foot stopped hurting, because not being able to run sucked. My punching bag is maybe the coolest thing I own. And I have muscles that hurt today that I didn't even know I had, and I love that.
- I'm thankful for employers who understand that, no matter what, Zoe is my priority. If she's sick, I can be with her, and not everyone can say that.
- I'm thankful that I found writing. Nothing quite fulfills me like throwing a thousand or two words on my computer screen, re-reading them, and finding that I've created something that's entirely my own. Not many other things can do that for me.
- Along that line, I'm thankful that Charles considers it a fact that my book will sell. It's not an if, in his mind; it's a when. And that's pretty cool. Whether or not it actually happens, he believes it will.
- Finally, I'm actually thankful for the Internets, without which I'd not be in touch with at least half of my friends. Without which I'd know next to NOTHING about the publishing industry into which I am so anxious to hurl myself without a safety net (my new-found knowledge IS my safety net). Without which I wouldn't even know what a query letter is, let alone that the idea of self-publication even exists.
Hot damn. It's been a good freaking year. Even with my occasionally heavy boots, I have so much to be thankful for.
I hope you can say the same.