...sometimes it is damn hard to make lemonade. Don't you think?
So I finished my draft of Book 1 three weeks ago (ish) now, and immediately decided to take a few days off. Go on break, more or less. Focus on reading instead of writing, doing my "market research" on contemporary (translate: selling) zombie lit.
So then, a day or two later Zoe had an ear infection. Then came the horrific reaction to FluMist and several trips to the doctor and many nights of very little sleep due to her coughing and my own worry.
We finally made it past that phase, only to find ourselves in the midst of another one: Zoe...has stopped...sleeping...and for all that is good and holy in this world...to me, sleep is up there on the list. And I'm not getting much these days.
When Zoe was a newborn, Charles and I were as prepared for the sleepless nights as anyone could be. We slept in shifts, one of us on the couch while Zoe slept in her swing, the other trying to catch more restful, quiet sleep upstairs. We hit survival mode and just...got through it. Gracefully on his part, less than that on mine.
But now. Now. Now Zoe is three and we have been sleeping so well for so long! I got used to my 6 or 7 or even 8 hour nights. It was beautiful. Wonderful. I was productive, dammit!
And now. Now she's having nightmares or is being stubborn about not wanting to be in her bed...we're really not sure yet. We've been off for Thanksgiving, but we go back to work tomorrow. If she's up again tonight (the last two nights have found her wide awake between 3:30 and 5 a.m.), tomorrow is going to be a disaster.
I've been anxious. Stressed. Exhausted and endlessly grouchy and snappish. All my least favorite things to be.
I feel bad for her, really, but I'm also just...so...tired! *Whine!*
(Charles is still being damn-near saint-like through all this...no idea how he does it.)
Anyway, today I was whining as usual about being soooo sleepy, and feeling like I am getting nothing done. But then I realized...
- In the past three weeks I've read two books, a new record for me in my post-baby world. So that's helpful, especially since one of the books was On Writing by Stephen King, and it gave me tips, tricks, and, best of all, validation on some of the writing processes I've already worked out for myself. Which was...amazing. Why yes, Steve, I do happen to write with one person in mind, wondering if he'd like a certain scene or if he'd be bored or entertained. Thanks for telling me you do that, too.
- In the past five days, I've started Book 2!! And I'm LOVING it so far! I wrote something that I think is better than ANYTHING I've ever written, and I love the plotlines I plan to follow. So now I have two chapters written, plenty of ideas with which to move forward, and really...I've been busy.
So really, maybe it's not so bad. We'll get through this phase of early-childhood-development, and I can continue to get shit done while we do it.