NaNoWriMo) in November of last year, where the goal is to write 50,000 words in one month. I didn't succeed, per se...I hit the 50k mark somewhere in December, and "finished" my story (for the first time anyway) in January, but the deadline component forced me to write more than I ever knew was possible.
Particularly because that was my first time dabbling in the world of fiction - I've always been a much better essayist, and actually used to find writing fiction quite painful. But it became fun, almost like acting, and I got a little hooked. During these long months of editing, I've missed the creation aspect of first drafts, but I've also become nervous that I couldn't do it again.
So, how did this all play out in my August writing challenge?
Nights 1 and 2 were rough. In fact, Night 2 was SO painful and the writing I produced was so utterly, embarrassingly terrible that I considered giving up. I mean, what's the point of writing if you know you're going to delete everything.
But then last night I dove back in, ignored the fact that I needed a transition to get to the meat of what I wanted to work on, and instead just wrote what I wanted to work on. And it worked. I was able to get moving on a story, and once I hit a particular scene, I realized exactly WHY a character in Book 1 was as crazy as I made him...if that makes any sense whatsoever. It was an exciting discovery, and one which made me wonder if maybe, really, somewhere in my deepest heart I know that my book is not yet ready to go out to the world. Maybe, really, my book is only half-done, and I need to know these secret things about my characters in order to make Book 1 really work.
But I do know that what I wrote last night wasn't just part of a short story. It was more than that. So I need to keep going, see where it fits in my Master Plan <insert evil laugh here> and watch how the rest of this month is going to play out.
It's exciting! I'm excited! I'm alive!